A day in the life of a Work-from-Home mom

Wednesday, 28 September 2011
Life as a work-from-home mom is exciting. You'll never know when you'll be called to wipe bottoms and snot, clean pee off the floor, coerced into herding a group of 60 feral kids (shepherds, you ain't seen nothing yet until you've replaced your sheep with kids), dress your child in fluorescent tutus and leg warmers for her school's 1980s themed party etc. You know those things you promise yourself you'll never do when you have kids?

Me: Go and watch TV.
Lil L: No! I don't want to.
Me: Mommy needs to send an email to a customer. TURN ON THE TV!
Lil L: Noooooooo.
Me: Ok, let's cut a deal. If you watch TV for an hour, I'll buy you a bag of sweeties.
Lil L (going in for the kill): How about 2 bags of sweeties and I watch quietly?



06:50   Lil L woke me up wanting to discuss a dire issue with her girlfriends in school. I heard the first bit - "my friend gave me thumbs down and I was sooooo upset". I was sure I was listening but it sounded more like blah blah and then blah blah blah and she blah blah blah.....

07:15  Lil L declared that she's dying of starvation and would expire on the spot if food wasn't given immediately. Kicked hubby out of bed to tend to HIS child's needs.

07:45  Scrolled through my inbox and sent a few quick replies. Let's check out the blog. Oooooh.... more comments. I LOOOOVE comments! Yippeee.... 2 more likes on Facebook. I'm popular!!

08:15  ACKKK! I'm late! I'm late. I raced through the house screaming at Lil L to change into her 1980s costume. It's school's centennial celebration. What? Leg warmers? Where do these go? Egads, I've got to put on my sunglasses. Her outfit looks so ..... bright. My child looks like a reincarnation of the young Madonna (no, I'm not talking about Jesus' mother)! "Mom, who's Madonna?" "She's a singer". "Can you sing one of her songs?" "Like a viiirrgiiin, touched for the very first time". "Mom, what's a virgin?" "The way you'll be for a long time".

08:45  What??! Is it almost 9? I'm late. I'm sooo late. Crap! I don't have time to brush my hair. I hope I don't scare anyone looking like Frankenstein's bride. No! What am I doing? No negative thoughts. Ommm ommm.... Channel Cindy Crawford. She's got big hair. Grabbed Lil L's hand and dragged her half running down the street to her friend's house for a quick photo shoot.

09:00  Whew! That was a close call. Made it before the school bell went off. I felt instantly better seeing other frazzled moms.

10:20  Met a friend at a local cafe to catch up and exchange ideas. I've almost forgotten what it's like to socialize outside of children's activities.

12:00  Pounding away on the laptop checking my inbox.  No time to dillydally, got to get dinner sorted now and apartment tidied up. We've got guests tonight.

13:15  Raced back to school and feeling all sweaty in my Isabel Marant woolen Lexy jacket. Awww... all the kids and staff are dressed in their costumes. How cute is that? Hang on a minute, is that our local GP? I'd better stop gawping and find Lil L before the procession starts. Whaddaya know...the police are here to escort the kids too.


hippy doc3

Just in case you're wondering, yes, he's a trained GP despite looking like he should belong to a commune. No, that's not his real hair.




Frances
Frances wearing a genuine vintage dress purchased from a vintage fair



80s4

A cheeky grin from Lil L before the procession began.


14:00  A quick wave goodbye to Lil L and her friends before running back home to work. I feel like I've ran a couple of marathons. I'm a woman. Hear me roar......AND.... multi-task.

15:15  Managed to ship a last minute order at the post office. Oh crap! I'm late! Here we go again, my third mad dash back to the school. I've got hair plastered all over my face. I do NOT look like Frankenstein's bride. No NO! That's not an affirmation. I look like Cindy Crawford. Oh whatever. I'm late.

15:30  What the hell happened to the kids?! They're hopping around like mad monkeys. A mom quickly explain that they were all given a slice of cake. I think that's what she said because the disco music in the background drowned out everything including my thoughts.


Lil L and friends dancing
This is what I saw when I got to the school. Kids + sugar = deranged kids.


Lil L dancing

Still high on sugar and danced all the way into the classroom to pick up her lunchbox and bag


16:30  Tiphaine and I successfully herd our kids out of the playground and into my apartment for dinner. The two mommies caught up while the kids are chucked into the bedroom so that we can have some peace and quiet.


17:00  Time to get dinner ready. The animals...I mean kids are starting to gnaw at the sofa and toys.


19:30  Hubby emerged from our front door looking bewildered by the noise and stampede.

20:00 A quick bath and bedtime for Lil L.

20:30  Hubby managed to snare a copy of the latest Narnia DVD from the library. Yay! For the life of me, I can't understand why hubby likes to watch scary movies. Why pay to scare yourself? Just spend the night at a cemetery or a haunted house.

23:00  Time to work on the blog..... oh wait, let's see if Downton Abbey is on ITV player. Crikey, X Factor.....

00:00  Maybe I should type something in my blog......

01:00  Maybe I should type something in my blog...... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


My hat's off to all the moms out there who are doing an amazing job! Motherhood is singularly the most rewarding AND frustrating journey.



(please contact me at thepurseaddict@gmail.com if you're considering consigning your bags and accessories. Shameless plug!).

14 comments:

  1. OMG- this is freakin' hiliarious! Sounds just like my life (minus the 'madonna' looking child and the glamorous working from home job). It's amzaing how us mothers find time to go to the bathroom, seriously :) I love the pics and the part where you wrote: kids plus sugar = deranged kids. LOVE it!!! Thanks so much for the post!

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  2. HAHAHAHA This post is awesome! I can't even begin to figure out how much they should pay you. If this is just ONE day, I can't imagine years on top of years of doing this. I guess you can tell I'm not a mom. HAHAHA I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. You're an awesome mom! I couldn't stop laughing and you should be commended. I'm bowing to you! HAHAHA :D
    http://sassyuptownchic.blogspot.com/
    SassyUptownChic xoxo Kim

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  3. Such a hilarious recount of a day in the life of a hands on mum. Your posts always put a smile on my face. I swear you would give wonder woman a run for her money!
    http://www.findmeamuse.com

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  4. Awww this is such a gorgeous post! Love how you narrated the whole thing haha. You should write a novel or something!!! And your daughter is absolutely adorable! :)

    xxCindy
    Oriental Expresso

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  5. i'm glad that i'm not the only one who resorts to "Go watch TV!!!" when i want her out of my hair (or when i'm on a conference call for work and all they can hear is "Momma....momma....MOMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

    ;)

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  6. off topic, but have you ever bought anything from Hobbs? It's a UK based brand? I just saw some stuff on their online store and the dresses are completely gorgeous

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  7. Breathe, girl!! LOL! This was a treasure to read and I've had more days like this than I care to admit. The pictures are priceless!!

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  8. Sharon, boys are straightforward and physical. Girls, on the other hand, are sneaky and manipulative. I've forgotten what it's like to have privacy in the toilet :P

    Kim, LOL. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. There are days when I swear I can feel my hair turning grey.

    Mandi, looking back, I can see the funny side of things but on the day.......

    Cindy, you're so sweet. Lil L is a darling but boy, is she opinionated. "Wow, mommy, you're tummy sure looks fat". pffftttttt.

    bagfashionista, hear! hear! The minute you get on the phone, they start getting all clingy and attention seeking. There's a Hobbs store literally 2 minutes walk from my place. I've only been in there once but yes, you're right. Their clothes are very ladylike and beautiful.

    lauraloo, I've never been so exhausted in my life until I had Lil L. I bet if you write an account of your day, it'd look the same or worse!

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  9. Ok, I'm not a mom yet, but I love this post. It is what makes being a mom the hardest job and I love how you wrote it. Play by play of what actually happens and how you have zero time to relax for yourself! What a great post!!

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  10. love this post, you are clearly a great mom! Lil L is soooooo adorable!! xo

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  11. Jen, I'm touched by your comment. Thank you! Life is certainly a lot easier now that my daughter is a little older. Nevertheless, there's never a dull moment!

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  12. Rachel, you always say the sweetest things. *hugs*

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  13. Oh my goodness! I was laughing so hard reading this post! (I forgot to comment because I did the FB like and left! oops) My friends do the same thing when we are talking - go watch TV! And blah blah blah had me rolling (as did sugar and deranged kids)! Thanks for the great laugh!

    xo, sam

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  14. Sam, I'm so glad you like the post. Sugar and kids are a REALLY REALLY bad combination. It's enough to drive any sane person mad with frustration trying to deal with sugar high kids!

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