New Year's Resolution vs The Reality

Friday, 9 January 2015
avocado on toast-3


1. Eat healthy! Lose weight! Get rid of that extra 10 pounds
Jan 1: Frantically searching for flax and chia seeds in shops for that extra omega 3 infusion in the hope of keeping dementia at bay and increasing my IQ by another 20 points. Never mind emotional intelligence. Just make me smarter. Period. Child and husband were force-fed vegetable and fruit smoothies while I recite the health benefits of each ingredient in their mud colored slush. I convince us that it tastes MARVELOUS, dah-lings! We're getting healthier.......and smarter.......

Jan 7: Lunch consists of rye bread with flax and chia seeds, topped with avocado and rocket leaves. Washed down with a glass of Coca Cola. Yes, the sugary drink. My rationale...... 1) I've been tooooooo healthy for a week. A WHOLE week! I deserve a treat.   2) Coca Cola cleans my gut as well as my toilet bowl.


2. Be fearless. Take more risks!
Jan 1: Scribbling down all the incredible projects I'll be doing. Journey into the depths of the most rural mountains of the world. Explore the universe. Give my blog a kick in the rear end with exciting posts that it desperately needs.

Jan 7: Prolonged brain fart. There's a deep butt shaped indentation on the sofa.



winter outfit
Barbour parka, Zara skinny jeans, Uniqlo sweater, Johnstons of Elgin cashmere scarf and New Balance 420 sneakers.


3. Be as stylish as those famous fashion bloggers and movie stars. 41 is the new 31!
Jan 1: Mentally pairing all the different pieces in my closet. Chanel! Isabel Marant! Rick Owens! Starts to hyperventilate thinking how cool my outfits are going to be in 2015. The streets of England will be my runway!

Jan 7: Day 1 of 2015 - black skinnies, black jumper, parka and sneakers. Day 2 of 2015 - black skinnies, striped jumper, parka and sneakers. Day 3 of 2015 - black skinnies, black jumper, parka and sneakers. Day 4 of 2015 - repeat of Day 1. Day 5 of 2015 - repeat of Day 2. Day 6 of 2015 - repeat of Day 3. Day 7 of 2015 - repeat of Day 1. Notice a very similar pattern forming??


4. Maintain a calm demeanor while attending to parental duties
Jan 1: Zen. Serenity. Peace, harmony and all that jazz. Speak to my child lovingly the way Mother Theresa did to the kids in the orphanage.

Jan 7: Apologize to numerous passers-by while Lil L and her friend run, skip and piggy back each other and narrowly missing innocent victims who had the misfortune of sharing the same sidewalk with us. The flat trembles while the child plays deaf as I channel Pavarotti's powerful vocal chords telling her for the millionth time to take a bath, clean her room, change her clothes, have dinner, GO TO SLEEP etc etc. MAJOR FAIL.


Forget about numbers 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10. I give up.








12 comments:

  1. M, this is hilarious! Well, perhaps if you keep trying these four, maybe one of it would stick? :P

    ReplyDelete
  2. I enjoyed this post Marlene, funny! If you keep to one that is an achievement, because I never do. Although, my important one this year, is to eat more healthy and eat less processed sugar, which I hope to keep to!! Fingers crossed.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great post made me chuckle so much :) xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just brilliant! And absolutely hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank you so much, ladies! Let's see how 2015 pans out :P Fingers crossed, I can ACTUALLY tick a few things off my list by year end.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love your New Years post's Marlene, they are the best! I hear you on all 4 - I'm just a little later starting/trying....chia etc went onto my online order today though, great minds! That Barbour is amazing, wish I had seen that before I got mine a few years back x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh and also because my Barbour has no hood - all Barbours should come with one!

      Delete
    2. I think you can buy a detachable Barbour hood. I remember being told that a couple of years ago. There should be buttons on the back of your collar.

      Delete
  7. Love the Barbour jacket with fur trimmed hood!!

    Marielle | High Alpine

    http://myhighalpine.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh Marlene reading this today on a coffee shop and maybe the next guy beside me are wondering why i giggle a lot and thankfully i hold myself not to laugh out load. Thank you for helping me burn a little calories while enjoying reading your post.

    Hope to see more of your ootd post like i've always telling you on ig and more colors to your wardrobe like your red new balance that really pop up.

    Love,
    Angie

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have started drinking black tea with/after meals. It's supposed to be good for digestion. I like Earl or Lady Grey. Try it.

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...