Things that drive me bonkers

Thursday 13 December 2012

Blogging is still a rather strange phenomenon, even to someone like who has been yabbering away for a couple of years. I ping-ponged between fun and vacuous subjects which I enjoy and other times, when the mood strikes, something of a more serious nature. Lately, I've had a chance to reflect on ......... things that drive me bonkers. By chance, I meant I had time on my hands when I'm doing laundry while desperately trying to ponder upon the mysteries of life or something intelligent to that effect instead of wondering what to cook for dinner or if I'd watered my plants or whether my pores are getting bigger or ..... okay, so you get the picture.

1. Fickleness

I've got a couple of friends....bless their hearts.... lovely people but they change their minds every few minutes. If I calculated the number of hours I'd waited for them, I'd probably lost precious days, never to be re-gained again. Never rely on them to turn up on time, that is if they ever do because they'll probably get distracted by a pair of shoes at a shop or decided that they prefer to eat Chinese instead of Japanese. "We must catch up! I'll call you tonight!", they cry while grasping my hand to illustrate the urgency of their statement. A year later, we'll be having the same conversation.

 2. Scrooge

Tightwad, miser, cheapskate or in New Zealand, we just call them tight-arse. Can't get more direct than that. They're so tight, their arses squeak when they walk past you. They penny pinch and exploit the goodwill of others and then wonder where their friends have gone. I remember coming across this verse in the bible and realized there's a lot of wisdom in those words.

"Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full--pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back." Luke 6:38

3. Manners

Ever opened the door for someone and all you get is a cursory glance and a sniff as if you're no better than a gnat? I remember attending hubby's best friend's wedding and a tai-tai (rich women who lunch in Asia) strutted into the elevator and commanded me to press the button for the second floor. If this was how she treated another wedding guest, I'd hate to think how she treated her staff.

I've noticed the general decline of manners and common courtesy in children these days. I can't enforce the rule on others but I can work on my own child to ensure that she's thoughtful, to remember to be polite and mind her manners. I've seen grumpy individuals who literally beamed from ear to wear when a person, particularly a young child remembered to thank them for letting them through first. If the words thank you and I'm sorry are used more often, they'd be less violence and war.

4. Me, myself and I

Let's face it, blogs are generally narcissistic by nature. That's the honest truth. It's ALL about MY outfits, MY thoughts, MY life. Yaaaaaawn. I had a revelation years ago when a number of people sought me out to thank me for what I'd done for them. I did very little other than listening to them and taking an interest in them. It made me realize that it wasn't what I'd said but how I made them feel that made the difference. Just in case you're thinking that I'm an expert on this topic, don't. I still struggle every single day to remind myself to take the time to listen to others.

What are your pet peeves? What drives YOU bonkers?


  1. I so agree with your list and though I like to think getting older, means getting more mellow, it's the poor manners that annoys me most! Gosh, to that wedding guest, I would have replied something like, I'm sorry, you mean you'd like me to press floor 2 for you? Of course, my pleasure!
    I also hate to see rudeness to others such as impatient shoppers with elderly people or young kids who can't help but be a bit slower than everyone else.
    It's lovely when people appreciate manners in children and that's the one thing I'm strict about with my 3. My son holds doors open even though he's only 9 and always gets a smile and thanks except for the very few grumps who completely ignore him.

  2. I feel your annoyance. Those first three peeves are pretty much the top aspects of Delhi life that used to irritate me. I have encountered all of it fairly regularly since moving here and finally decided to do whatever I could to avoid them. more making plans with flakes or tightwads, my social life is quieter but more peaceful. The rudeness is hard to avoid, but I try to focus on the kindness and generosity I experience regularly as well.

  3. I agree with everything on your list, especially #1...we have a few friends who always show up late for events, dinners, parties, etc is so annoying and inconsiderate!

    I also can't stand it when people text or yap on their cell phone while you are socializing with them. Big turn-off!

  4. Oh the first one - remember the conversation I had with you? I have a friend just like that. We give her messages now like if you don't respond, we'll assume you're not coming. I've wasted time following up for her once too often when she has let someone down or me. She has a good heart but no responsibility to others. I said at our Christmas party to everyone the other day, "it's better to say no than not being able to commit and follow through". She said "that's brilliant, I hadn't thought of doing that before" as if it was the most fantastic thing she had ever heard. It wasn't aimed at her directly just a general comment about why I sometimes turn things down. I guess in her case, it makes it more difficult if you're not aware of your own actions.

    Tightwads - don't like those who depend on the generosity of others to do everything for you and they have more money than you. They taketh but don't bother to give back. I have one of those - the friend above (why am I friends with her?) and I have my other friend who always giveths and never takes. Two extremes.

    And manners - George seems to have lost them all of a sudden but when he first started speaking, he couldn't say please and thank you enough. We can beat it back in to him though. I will win. I am mum.

  5. Oooh, great post. My two pet peeves are tight arses (common phrase in Ireland too!) and bad manners. God, I hate meanness and rudeness. Dreadful traits in anyone. The other thing I really hate is being bored!! You know the sort of people I mean ... the ones who drone on endlessly about their exceptionally gifted children ... or the ones who go into minute detail about the possibility of promotions in their financial services role. YAWN!!! Boring people drive me around the bend ... or maybe I'm just intolerant? Now there's a thought ...

  6. Oh the manners/rude people thing drives me up a wall! I can't even believe some people go through life that way!

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

  7. That first one is big on my list along with canceling via text while I'm already sitting at the restaurant waiting for him or her! Rudeness is big on my list but it's hard avoid in the city I live in. People are always in a hurry here. I have to admit I love when I hear children say please and thank you!

  8. I really agree with your list too, especially number one, its wearing isn't it?
    Oh and Chloe, that's why I hate texting it makes it too easy for folk to dump you when you're already out waiting for them.

  9. Great post Marlene and have to agree fickle friends and people with bad manners drive me nuts! I only thought of it today as I got off the bus and said "thank you" to the bus driver and got no response! It is so much nicer when they acknowledge you, ignorant bastards!

  10. Your list really resonates with me. I can't stand any of those things. Life's just too short. Even on blogs I can't stand those that only talk about themselves in a very mundane way. At some point I just loose interest. You just try to focus on the positives in life- the generosity and good will.

  11. Hee hee, I have my thoughts whilst I'm ironing! I have a friend who is consistently at least half an hour late to everything. It drives me mad and she is never sorry. If we're waiting at a restaurant for them, I've now taken to ordering an entree. It goes against my manners to do so before they get there, but their lateness is just so rude and I'm normally so hungry that I could drop!

  12. Inconsiderate people in general - a possible root cause of all the above! Makes it worse when the fickle friend complains at no longer being invited to things ...

    @style at every age, I also used say thank yous on buses but was often ignored (or the driver just gave me a weird look) - perhaps I should reinstate this and we can change the world one bus thank you at a time!

  13. It always annoys me when people are constantly changing their minds. I have a friend who every time I talk to her, her short term plan has changed completely, although in reality, her life stays the same. And rude people! Can't stand them. Never understand the need to be rude on any occasion

  14. I second your list and I would add people who can't be bothered to queue up and those who stand right up against your backside on the queue. I admit I have personal space issues but I totally detest when strangers get so close they're practically touching me. Good on you for instilling proper manners in your little miss :)

    Rowena @ rolala loves

  15. What a wonderful post!
    Amen to all your list!

  16. Marlene, you are awesome. I'm afraid my list would be quite long...but topping it surely would be the 1) overcrowding in HK (leading to shortages for all kinds of things) and the 2) massive lack of common courtesy. You are right, we might not be able to control others but we can certainly watch our own behavior and that of our kids'. Sigh. 3) Oh, and let's not forget the overly clingy HK shop assistants!

  17. Oh you're fantastic. Wiffly waffly friends - however sweet they are drive me BONKERS. And I have to say am slowly shedding them, however very sweet there are... Once you have kids you just don't have the time or the patience. In most things _ don't read my post today where I am incredibly waffly about a dress i'm having made _ I am decisive and reliable. It just works better, you get more done. And tight arse friends have gone by the wayside too. Wonderful post, chickadee!

  18. Absolutely brilliant post Marlene. All are so true although 2 had me laughing so hard at the audible 'squeak' and 4, well... narcissistic nature is so much more evident these days with social media. Let me please pass a comment on you though, you are exceptional at not doing any of these 4 cringe worthy things. In addition to the ones you mentioned, when people deliberately walk in directly towards you in your path and expect you to move (when they clearly have room) is my pet peeve. Why is this becoming more common?

  19. Fantastic post!!!All drive me so crazy!! What I love about your blog is you speak the truth but you don't do it with malice. Kwim?

    Bad manners DRIVE ME crazy! A sense of entitlement also drives me crazy!!

    1. You're too sweet. Thank you so much for the kind words.

  20. I enjoyed reading all the comments! Marlene, your list resonates with mine. I tend to think that fickle-minded people are mostly insincere, and sad to say I used to be like that. It takes great effort for me to say something and then follow through on it, especially on things I do not enjoy doing. But for the things/people I like, I can move heaven and earth just to make sure it is



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