Abortion

Wednesday, 4 January 2012
As you probably know by now that I initially started this blog for my mom so that she could keep track of her granddaughter's adventures on the other side of the world. As the blog gained more readership, I started branching out to cover my travels, outfits and musings. There lies the dilemma to either to write only popular lighthearted topics or to include more heavyweight and thought provoking issues that I care about. In the end I decided to stay true to myself. After all, this blog is an extension of myself. I am what I am though this is not an excuse for me to be tactless nor rude. I know there have been many requests for my modeling shots. Until I've perfected a serene and photogenic pose instead of the current utterly fake and cheesy grins, I'm afraid you're likely to continue to see more editorial type shots.

When I was a student at a convent school, we were shown an upsetting video by the nuns. We saw how the fetus slowly splintered during suction which is an abortive procedure. I used to believe that a fetus was an it, a thing that felt no pain but the video clearly showed how he/she tried to move away from the vacuum suction. Fast forward more than a decade later, a friend begged me to accompany her to an abortion clinic. Her pregnancy, she said, was a product of a bad relationship and she wanted it removed. Nothing I said could dissuade her from her decision. I begged, cajoled and pleaded to no avail.

While I waited for her, I heard a gut-wrenching cry, the type you want to forget and never ever want to hear again. I saw a young girl with her mom clutching her as they staggered to the nearest bed. Another patient was in shock. She stared in horrified silence at the wall. Meanwhile, my friend bounced out from the operating theater with an announcement that she felt so much better after the abortion. A part of me understood her predicament but I couldn't forget that a life has just been snuffed out. The unborn child would've been 15 years old now. Many years passed before we saw each other again. She desperately wanted a child this time and could not stop touching Lil L who was only a few months old then.

Here's a song titled "Kingdom of Heaven"written by a Christian composer, John Bonaduce dedicated to all the unborn children in the world. The music sung by a choir accompanied simply by piano and at times, organ is touching and gut-wrenching. Please support them by buying their album.


"Let the little ones, come to me...
do not take them away
For it's to such as these that I have come
For the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs
Yes, the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs" - Shantigarh Requiem for the Unborn.





20 comments:

  1. I am sure this was a hard post to write, as difficult as the trip you made with your friend.

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  2. Hey M! I can definitely understand both sides of this topic. Everybody's situation (when it comes to this topic) is a unique one. We all have choices and must be able to live with the decisions we make. Good for you in talking about various topics! But next time, I expect it to be 1 paragraph ok? LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO

    http://averysweetblog.com/

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  3. The part about the fetus trying to move away from the suction brought tears to my eyes..... :(
    S in NY

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  4. sometimes we made some decision that we think was right some people may think it was wrong and some are just agree with us. but at the end what matters is what we feel and what we think.
    often we regret for things we did, but we cannot go back and bring back the past. we just have to deal with in everyday of our lives.
    i can imagine how it was hard for your friend....
    xoxo, Haus of Gala

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  5. Thanks for following my blog dear. As for my take on this controversial topic... every person's situation is different when it comes to abortion. Yes, abortion is taking away a life, however, if the child were to be born into a world where he or she would have no loving parents and would be suffering for the rest of their lives... that is just as painful. In general though, I am against people who turn to abortion as a convenient solution to careless, unprotected sex.

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  6. I'm glad you've decided to stay true to yourself and write about topics that, while important to you, may not be the easiest to discuss... especially in the blog world, where lighthearted, often shallow dicussions are more valued.

    This post was difficult to read, but I'm glad you wrote it. I think the world can always use a reminder to pray for others (the unborn children, the potential mothers who have the abortions, etc.).

    I can imagine a handful of situations where abortion would be the best or only option for a pregnant woman (for example if the continued pregnancy would risk the life of both the child and hte mother).
    However, I think the abortion discussion should include what comes before (i.e., what causes unplanned pregnancies...sex). Women who don't want to have children should take every safeguard to prevent pregnancies. I think some women treat abortion as a birth control option. While it technically does control the brith of the child, there are so many other easy, inexpensive ways to prevent pregnancy (the pill, condoms, plan b, etc., etc.). Why don't women take advantage of these options?

    As a women who would someday like to have my own children, it's hard not to be angry at women who capriciously have abortions. I understand that for many women who have them it's a heart-wrenching, difficult decision... but the ones who use abortion clinics as their primary method of brith control really get to me.

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  7. See the film Freakonomics and what they say about the subject of abortion from a socioeconomic point of view, it is very interesting. I believe it should be every woman's choice, and no one should be judgmental. Good education from an early age is FAR more important, as there are other things more serious than an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy, like HIV.
    And lets not forget the rape factor. Many women do not even have a chance to protect themselves, so I think this should be a consideration too. In many countries rape is a usual war and terror tactic against individuals and communities. There are things that we try not to think of as they are extremely painful, but let's give it a thought. I wouldn't want my daughter to give birth to her rapist's kid, so imho the only solution is the abortion.

    I congratulate you for your posts!

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  8. I love variety and thought provoking type of post. This post simply reminds of a serious problem in Thai society. Many young women decide to have unprotected sex and end up with abortion, not once but twice or more. I couldn't bring myself to think how they treat their bodies and someone's life like it is nothing over and over. I do not oppose abortion if there is a reasonable explanation behind but to abort a life as a result of fun sex is so wrong. They know they should have prevented it. In a way I feel that many people should not have kids at all because they just abuse their children, it is heartbreaking.

    When I was pregnant, I imagined what if something was wrong with my baby like Downsyndrom and such. Would I be able to bring myself to have an abortion or let a child born and suffer a life long issue?

    I am also one of those who are eager to seeing your appearance :)

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  9. It's good to read a clothes blog where the writer to be feels the need to share deeply felt views about fundamental issues concerning human rights .
    I love reading fashion and lifestyle blogs that appeal to my frivolous H side , personally I left fashion magazines behind a lifetime ago as they seemed totally predictable, commercial and boring .
    I'm not sure how I feel about this issue , at my advanced age I tend to feel freedom of choice has to be preferable to backstreet abortions . Unwanted pregnancies will always be a fact of life .

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  10. Yes, this reminds me of the video I saw from Church, could never forget the shot of a part of the little arm with tiny fingers in red. This video changed the way I looked at abortion forever.

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  11. Hi M,

    I'm so glad that you have stayed true to yourself. It's a refreshing change and nice to see a blog where someone has an open dialect about the important issues most of us think of but rarely share publicly.

    I'm too one of the people that sees both sides of this issue just because I don't believe I could ever fully know or judge someone else's life or experiences, or that I have the right to. I'm sure aborting a child would be an extremelly difficult and life-changing choice for any woman to make and one that is re-lived for the rest of her life.

    xx Mandi
    www.findmeamuse.com

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  12. Thanks for your brave post...very well put...this is a very difficult topic and one people usually steer away from because we all have powerful beliefs on one side or another...I love reading about your clothes and life, but just as much about your thoughts...I happen to agree with you ..Coco

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  13. This is such a difficult topic and was a very hard story to read, but I thank you for sharing it with us. It takes courage to stay true to yourself and broach topics like this. I love your blog for that specific reason - it's not just about fashion, it's about your thoughts.

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  14. Such beautiful writing about such a sad topic. I can't get your words out of my head. Thank you for having the courage to speak about such a difficult topic. It is refreshing...

    It's always a challenge to manage blogging about fashion, clothes and all the frivolous things we love with our beliefs. I love when bloggers successfully do this.

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  15. this post touched my heart. i saw the exact or similar video before too and i've read how does the baby feel inside.
    and the truth is that the baby feels everything, it feels the danger and wants to safe itself of it by trying to move away of the doctor's instruments, it is alive and it feels and its a human and although i don't judge your friend or any other women, i feel sorry for the babies.
    i once read a poem that said:
    "9 am.
    my heart just started beating today, i feel it now inside my body, it ticks and tocks...i wonder how will my mommy name me when i will be born, will she like me or not...
    10 am.
    my heart just stopped,
    my mommy killed me"
    its the story of a baby that dies through abortion, yes its literature but it broke my heart into pieces. and i am now thinking of posting about it too.
    lureofthedarkside.blogspot.com
    marianne

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  16. Better unborn than living with a parent who regrets you and the other is not present. How dare you wish that upon anything or anyone just because you're "anti-abortion"!!

    P.S. Marianne M. - you DO realize an adult has written this, correct?

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    Replies
    1. This post is written from my perspective. While it is a sensitive topic, it is in no way a personal attack nor a disparaging remark to you as I don't even know who you are. I'm sorry if you have a traumatic childhood. There are always two sides to a story. And yes, I'm sure Marianne knows an adult wrote the poem as a fetus is unlikely to have pen it.

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    2. You haven't attacked me, nor am I offended. I am purely responding to your opinion. Of course it is written from your perspective, but that means nothing in terms of your own empathy for her. Did you fully comprehend your friend's situation: a child that she didn't want from a terrible relationship? How could anyone be a good parent to a child of two when there is such remorse and pain? Where was there any room for dissuading on your part??

      My point is that religious based educational systems (and others) often teach the next generation that x is bad, y is good, and z is horrific, when instead they should be teaching compassion for others. Regardless of religion, there is a common theme of compassion. But it sure is easy to scare the life out of your students by showing them the gory details of how abortion procedures are done. This way, you can guarantee they will never forget. After all, isn't a combined visual and auditory media presentation the most memorable when it's disgusting?

      If you apply this same line of thinking and standards to other branches of medicine, aren't we interfering with life when we administer chemotherapy treatment to patients who should have died years ago?? What about the AIDs patients?? How does your perspective carry over on these issues? If it's not your decision to "play God" as some will say, doesn't this qualify as such?

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    3. I'll keep my explanation short and succinct. I've known this lady for a long time. I also chose to keep certain parts of her life private. Again, you have no idea about her life nor our friendship. I'm not a doctor nor do I anything to do with AIDs patients. It'll be impossible to play God because for one, I'm not Him. I've only given written snippets of what had happened so your accusation of not being compassionate is hurtful. What I'll say is I've given you a fair chance to listen to YOUR perspective by posting your comment publicly.

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