Trying to Lose Weight

Once upon a time, there were three ladies who realized that their metabolic rate had come to a screeching halt. They decided to embark on a quest to increase activity in order to reduce jiggly bits. You know the excess lard fat blubber meaty bits around the chin, tummy, thighs..... yeah, those.

So what better way to exercise than to do it in a team.  Go team spirit! Y'know, be accountable to others as a motivation to remove my rear end from the chair (after having grown roots and sprouted leaves) when I don't feel like exerting myself or get sweaty.

So the three ladies set off for a walk along the meadows, river and ruins. And we chatted. And chatted. And chatted. My personal trainer once told me....."Marlene, if you can walk and talk, you're not walking fast enough". That's the cue for shut up and get going. Yeah, she was a pretty tough lady. I was scared s**tless of her.

Pretty soon, we came to a cafe. I mean, we've done 40 minutes of exercise (!). This is serious stuff. I'm not kidding. We'd burned off a total of 10 calories between the 3 of us. By exercising our jaw. So refreshments were definitely required to quench our parched throats and nourish our empty stomachs. We peered into the patisserie and all common sense left us. How could one not succumb to that pear and blueberry tart? Surely, I'd exercised long enough to reward myself with a pastry and a skinny latte (to alleviate my guilt).

I've decided to start dieting next week. I promise. Swear on my bible. Pinky swear.